something happened that made Mie wrote this thoughts. do stuff against my will is not really my thing. I seriously don't like it. I normally retaliate. It makes Mie so so stress to think about it too much for over and over again, the feelings can make Mie crash this whole world just in a sec, press the accelerator to its maximum speed, punch the wall and etc and bla bla bla. No one can predict my temper when it comes. i once or twice or thrice, smashed my fist on my sister (which of course i really regretted it, indeed), often on the walls, doors, number of times on guys. i just can't controlled it. but those were back then (which was worst). every single day am trying to get in control. but just don't pull the trigger of my bad temper (will yah) as i might flies into it. so better not. or you'll live to rue the day you did that. ever since, when i'm angry, i rather unfold the dialogue with my inner self than saying it out loud. the fire would put off by itself. to Mie, "its better to hate someone forever without spilling out the unpleasant words, than spitting it out unnecessarily that it would slice their heart or tear it into pieces". but don't take it for granted, just because i kept it all to myself. oh well, sometimes i just don't even bother to people's nastiness, my time doesn't allow Mie or i just keep in mind that only idiots will do unethical stuff, if you know what i mean, i rather stay away from 'em.